Being Creative – The Money Issue
I’m lacking some form of creative outlet, which really feels strange since I work in a creative field. I don’t really understand what type of creative outlet I’m missing or wanting, just that there’s something missing.
My mind always turns towards money. Let’s do this creative thing to make money. Let’s learn to become a writer, to make money. Let’s make necklaces, so I can make money. This is when the stress to impress people really kicks in, the stress that makes you freeze solid, so you end up not doing anything at all.
Sometimes I think it’s the business side of my brain that I never really explored, making me think like this. Other times, I think it’s the need for material objects and the ability to have it all in life — clothes, shoes, my dog, seeing the world — and wanting to make that happen through being creative on the side — not just doing my day to day job, because that way I could have an endless amount of money, right? Pretty sure that’s the way the world works.
It doesn’t help that if I have more than an hour free, I’ll end up on a netflix binge and wipe out an entire day. The ability to consume content, and see how successful people appear to be doing through social media, can also completely freeze the creative process.
The saying goes “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” That’s what I thought I did. That’s why I went to uni, that’s why I threw myself into everything that I did. Now, I sometimes feel like I just sit behind a desk all day. Am I really changing the world through design thinking? I don’t think so. I might just be slightly improving someone’s experience on a website. Then sometimes I’ll have moments, where I think ‘I love this,’ but looking back — it’s hard to pinpoint what those moments actually are, and how do I change my path so that’s what I spend my 9–5 doing?
Do I take the risk to go out on my own, to truly craft my job into what I want it to be? Is that something that can really be done, and you can survive financially? Will I be able to live the way I’ve been living? In the end, does that really matter?
I guess time will tell.